


let's be alone together

by everythingisconnected



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Caring Castiel, Caring Sam, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean Has Abandonment Issues, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Dean is Loved, Dean is a Softie, Depressed Dean, Emotional, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spooning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 17:51:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingisconnected/pseuds/everythingisconnected
Summary: Dean spirals into a depressive episode and isolates himself, but Cas is there for him with lots of cuddles and love.





	let's be alone together

It took Cas around 20 minutes to realise that Dean’s arms were no longer wrapped around him. As usual, he’d been lying in bed with Dean, letting the hunter spoon him whilst he slept. Cas tended to daydream a lot while waiting for Dean to wake up, reminiscing various moments from his long life. And he’d only just snapped out of it, frowning in confusion when noticing the other side of the bed was empty.

The angel got to his feet, trudging out of Dean’s room and down to the kitchen. No one was there, bar a few finished bottles of alcoholic drinks. Cas shook his head disapprovingly; those could only be Dean’s, and something was definitely wrong if he was drinking that much.

Relieved when he caught a glimpse of Sam in the library, Cas walked over to the table where he was typing on his laptop.

“Sam,” Cas started.

“Hey Cas,” Sam looked up from the screen, flashing him a small smile. “What’s up, man?”

“Have you seen Dean?” Cas asked with concern. “He wasn’t in bed this morning…”

“You two have a domestic?” Sam chuckled.

Cas shot him a deadpan expression. “No, Sam. He always tells me when he wakes up, and I found alcoholic drinks in the kitchen. Is he alright?”

Sam scoffed. “When is Dean ever alright? He swung by not that long ago, asked me to look for a case.”

Cas squinted. “Where is he now?”

“Well-“

They were both interrupted by the loud bang of the bunker doors closing behind someone. Dean staggered in, holding a bag full of beer whilst taking a swig from an open one. 

“Sam! Cas!” he grinned, walking past them. “Found me a case?”

“Dean-“ Sam began, but was interrupted again.

“See you guys later,” he said, before vanishing down the corridor. Now Sam was beginning to get concerned.

“He never buys that much beer unless something’s up,” Sam said, shutting the lid of his laptop. “Talk to him, Cas.”

“Maybe you should,” Cas suggested.

“Go on,” Sam patted his arm encouragingly. 

Cas huffed, caving in and heading back to Dean’s room. He knocked on the door.

No response.

He knocked again, louder.

Still nothing.

“Dean?” he called, trying for the handle. It was locked. “Dean!”

He heard a mumbled “Go away,” from inside, and sighed heavily. Obviously Dean was having a bad day, so he needed space. Cas really wanted to figure out why, and if he could help.

Sam appeared behind him.

“Don’t worry man, you know what Dean’s like,” Sam put a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe we should leave him be for a bit.”

Cas frowned, mad at the fact he couldn’t help Dean at the moment. “But Sam-“

“How about you catch up on some Netflix,” Sam said, “while I look for a case for us.” 

“Alright,” Cas replied, reluctantly heading to Sam’s room where the TV was. Hopefully for a while it could distract him from worrying about Dean.

-

Hours later, and Cas was starting a film Dean had recommended him. It was one of the typical cowboy movies Dean liked: ‘Brokeback Mountain’. He was actually getting really into it, even though he’d never admit that to Dean. He always rolled his eyes when Dean ranted about cowboys, despite the fact he secretly loved seeing Dean so happy and passionate, and tended to go along with it. 

Maybe the gay couple was the reason he was so interested in this movie. They reminded him of himself and Dean.

But also reminded him of how worried he was about Dean.

Maybe he should check up on him.

The door of Sam’s room creaked open slightly. Cas assumed it was Sam coming to fetch something from his room and paid no attention. Seconds later, the other side of Sam’s bed dipped, and a body was cuddling into his side.

Cas turned in shock. “Dean?”

Dean hummed and rested his head on Cas’ shoulder. “Brokeback mountain? I’m proud of you Cas.”

“Dean, are you alright? What happened earlier?”

“I’m fine.”

“That doesn’t work on me. You know that,” Cas took the hunter’s hand, interlocking their fingers and grazing his thumb over Dean’s in loving circles.

“Really Cas, I’m great.”

“Talk to me,” Cas said softly, resting his head back against Dean’s and pressing a small kiss to his hair. He wreaked of alcohol.

Dean sighed heavily. “Y’know I prefer to deal with this stuff alone…but this time…”

“Dean, it’s OK,” Cas squeezed his hand. “I’m listening.”

Dean frowned, clearing his throat. He’d always found it difficult to talk about his feelings, and even now he struggled to be open with the man he loved.

“I had a nightmare,” he muttered, barely audible. “God, I sound like a freakin’ kid.”

“No you don’t,” Cas reassured him. “Tell me. What happened?”

“You were gone,” Dean’s voice cracked. “Sam was gone. I was stuck here, on my own. You weren’t comin’ back.”

“Dean, I’m never going to leave you,” Cas kissed his forehead. “I’m right here.”

“You were _dead_ , Cas,” Cas could tell Dean was holding back tears. “Billie was there, tellin’ me she’d never bring you or Sam back. No matter how much I- no matter how much I told her I loved you.”

The angel sighed, caressing Dean’s hand. “It wasn’t real. It’ll never be real. I’ll make sure of it.”

“It could still happen,” Dean mumbled, melting completely into Cas’ side. “I could still lose you. I’ve lost you before.”

“And I always find a way back to you,” Cas turned to lie on his side, so they were facing each other. Gently he cupped Dean’s cheek with his spare hand and wiped the tears spilling from his eyes. 

“I’m sorry Cas,” Dean stiffened, still not used to being shown this amount of affection. “You shouldn’t have to put up with me crying on your shoulder like a baby.”

In response, Cas simply leaned forward, pressing their lips together. Dean gasped in surprise, immediately kissing back. It was brief and pretty chaste, but Cas hoped it conveyed how much he loved the hunter in front of him.

“Don’t ever say that, Dean,” Cas frowned. “I’ve never had to ‘put up with you’. I love you. Showing emotion isn’t a sign of weakness.”

The hunter scoffed. “Sure.”

Cas moved onto his back so Dean could lie on his chest, listening to the calming sound of his heartbeat. One hand still held Dean’s, the other combing through Dean’s hair.

“I love you too,” Dean whispered after a moment. Cas smiled to himself, loving that Dean was being so vulnerable with him. Dean would definitely be able to hear his heart speeding up.

The movie was forgotten in the background. They lay together for what seemed like hours, Dean practically asleep and barely snoring like he usually did, just huffing out tiny breaths. Cas continued to stroke his hair, soothing him throughout his sleep. 

There was a knock at the door. Dean didn’t seem to stir, so Cas had to say, “Come in.”

Sam entered, a tray of pecan pie in his hands. He stopped when he saw Dean laying on Cas, looking so calm and at peace.

“If you bring this up to him, he’ll most definitely kill you,” Cas warned, smiling as Sam placed the tray at the end of the bed.

“Guessed he’d finally make his way in here with you,” Sam grinned. “I bought some pie to cheer him up. His favourite.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“No funny business on my bed, you hear me?” 

Cas frowned in confusion. “Are you referring to sexual intercourse?”

Sam shook his head and facepalmed. “Yeah Cas, I am.”

“Don’t worry Sam. I ‘hear you’.”

“Damn right,” Sam laughed, leaving them to themselves.

-

Not that long after Sam left, Dean rose from his nap, shifting upwards to place a kiss on Cas’ jaw. The angel smiled, running a hand through Dean’s messy hair.

“You’re awake,” Cas said, letting Dean flop back down lazily onto his chest.

Dean was silent for a moment, then he rolled off onto his side, smirking at Cas. “Hey Cas.”

“Yes Dean?” the angel turned to face him.

“Y’know what’d really cheer me up?”

Cas frowned again. “What?”

Dean cupped his jaw, bringing him forward for a short kiss. “Make love to me, angel.”

“Dean, we shouldn’t-“

It was too late, Dean was already taking off his shirt, and Cas was screwed (in more ways than one). He lunged forward, kissing his lover passionately and trailing his hands over bare skin. 

Dean pulled back for a moment. “Wait, is that pie?”

Cas panted, out of breath from their kiss and shirt half unbuttoned. “Yes. Sam bought it for you.”

“We’ll share it later,” Dean said, moving back in for another kiss. “Need you so bad.”

“More than pie?” Cas quirked an eyebrow.

“More than pie.”

-

Sam was wondering what was taking Dean and Cas so long. Surely they’d watched enough movies now? He did need his own sleep, and was getting pretty tired. He’d found them a hunt for tomorrow and needed to be well rested before they set off.

He jogged down the corridor to his bedroom, knocking a few times. 

No answer.

He knocked again.

“Guys? You still in there?”

Sighing, Sam pushed the door open, immediately regretting his decision. 

In _his_ bed lay his brother and best friend, completely naked, with only a sheet covering their bottom halves. Cas was spooning Dean, his eyes closed but obviously not asleep. Dean looked completely out of it, both of them covered in sweat.

“Dean! Cas!” he yelled, shielding his eyes. “What did I tell you? In- in _my_ bed?!”

Cas seemed to wake from his trance, eyes widening in horror when he noticed Sam in the doorway.

“Sam- I can explain-“

“Save it,” Sam turned his back. “I’m sleeping in the spare room tonight. And then I’m gonna have to bleach those sheets tomorrow morning, along with my eyes.”

Before Cas could apologise, Sam had slammed the door shut. Thing was, he didn’t even feel that guilty, because he was lying next to the love of his life, who was sleeping in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> It'd make me sooo happy if u could leave kudos or even a comment :)


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